oh, what a gal was quickie!
i have 6 days to decide where i am going to college. i have oberlin, wesleyan and vassar. all at the end of the alphabet, but in different states. that is what i have so far.
your task:
choose my college for me. i don't care who you are. if you read this post, you must comment about which college should get my deposit with decent reasoning.
i'm officially boycotting all blogs. except mine, that is. i am too tired of the cowardly malicious abusing these things and turning them into tools for their pent up jealousies. i understand it's because the're too chicken shit to approach people about their problems with them. i almost don't blame those who are too scared of me. but, honestly, i don't care. if you're gonna throw a gauntlet, do it right.
at around 1:30 in the basement of some off campus house, having danced for more than 2 hours already, i realized that i no longer cared about the three random hipster boys who were showing me a good time at oberlin. i was only looking at lisa. she's half-asian, with medium length-ed black hair, an adorable smile, and right now she is grinding her hips up to mine while grasping my side. when she met me, she told me she loved my shirt and traced over the hearts on my bra with her finger. she rests her arm on my shoulder and tickles the back of my neck. they put on my favorite hip-hop song in the world. i take in the room all at once: low, bluish light, space with bare walls, circles of dancing, rotating keg. this song is my favorite for a reason; there are 4 separate beats to dance to at all times. there's the snare, base, emphatic cooing, rhythmic hand claps, and accent synth "pioow," and they all work. lisa runs her hand down my arm and i grab her hip. she pulls me closer to her, rocking her chest towards me. "what's your sexuality?" she asks in my ear. "what?" i ask, though i've heard her. "mostly straight," i tell her, "but sometimes i get bored with it." "yea i know what you mean," she says, breathing on my neck, (or did she lick my ear?) "it's too bad i have a boyfriend," she laughs, "i was totally checking you out before, you know." "me too," i say, as if i was responding to her liking puppies. she tells me i have to come to oberlin. she scratches her nails across my back after she hugs me goodbye.
there was something like random destiny in the city last sunday. i was on my hung-over way home to my dad's house around noon. i had decided (somewhat randomly and uncharacteristically) to be logical and walk a block to get a cab uptown instead of making it do crazy village cab-things. waiting on 6th, two people steal my cab. i take this and start walking. four steps later, a cab whips past me, and the passenger sticks his head out the window and yells my name. it's my dad.
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there was something menacing about the city on tuesday. the heat clung to my clothes as i trudged home after school. the sunlight from a cloudless sky reflected off the buildings in a blinding spotlight on me. i didn't see the porky guy in the sox cap or the uniformed school-girl, who—surprisingly enough—made the same irritated scoff when i walked into them. i don't know if it was the headache that the light had given me, but the cars, the people, the streets seemed louder than usual. hostile. cruel. curling up with a blanket on the couch would be its only remedy.
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there was something intoxicating about the city last night. the definition between the buildings and the sky blurred. one melted into the other until it seemed either that the buildings shot upwards forever or the sky was descending everywhere. i had managed to find the streets with all that shiny metal embedded in it, when an inch of sidewalk that had looked pupil black, beams like the sun was trapped behind it as you walk by, but is gone when you look back for it steps later. i followed the tiny strips of silver home, as other solitary figures did the same.
