is it monday yet?

no. it's saturday night. there's a crackhouse theme party on washington. and i am writing a paper.

self image

for the most part, my looks don't change. my weight varies by 3 pounds at the most. sometimes i get zits. sometimes my hair is greasy. sometimes i wear tight jeans. but the "pretty" days don't really coincide to when i feel best about myself. why is it that my value of my appearance changes so violently? i'll look in the mirror and think, goddamn; two days later, i want to see some one completely different. nor do these changes go along with my mood. today, i called all the people i promised i would (my grandparents, my mom, jess), and don't have a lot of work, but for some reason, i got so freaked out about myself that i went to the gym. the gym. me. at the gym. last week, i have never looked so good in an oversized sweatshirt with my hair pulled back. most annoyingly, why is it that sometimes eating a cookie makes it all better and sometimes makes it all worse?