thanksgiving at the rosenthal's: frieda (one of a series)

from what i hear of italian grandmothers, jewish ones are the same: their life revolves around food. you cannot possibly be happy without a plate of "filtered fish," cucumber salad, pastrami, or mallomars—yes, even mallomars require a plate. but you can't get said plate of look-what-fabulous-thing-we-got-at-russ&daughters on your own. you cannot get up. she can stand up for a meal, refilling your plate and your cup, but you cannot get up. you see, frieda serves food and eats none. that, i think, is the difference between italian and jewish mothers (no offense meant). or, it's from her days as a model, which she was for 14 years.

she has a picture of herself which she hides form the rest of the family: her around 20 in a knee-length mink and ankle-strapped pumps; her red (though the picture is black and white) hair—which gave her the nickname red—is groomed into an up-do; a cigarette is gliding towards painted lips. there's another picture of her from years later, in front of cinderella, the beauty salon she owned and ran for 10 years while raising my father in the bronx. (watching mustaches get bleached and sitting in the fumes might explain a lot about my father...) she's in nearly the same pose, and with the same famous accessory as the first. frieda smoked for 57 years. but at 80, with a husband that smoked and living downstairs from a daughter and son-in-law that smoked, she quit, without a patch or piece of gum.

her voice retains the scar, though, heard especially when she berates some one else's cooking or coffee, into which she pours at least 4 packets of sugar (not to mention her fruit, and her potatoes, and her...); "polacks like sweet things," she always says. my father and my cousins have taken to betting before each meal out on how many times she will send something back (the average is three).

can be heard saying:
[exclaimed] "and how!"
[of her son or husband] "should i hit him?"
[not getting something from the kitchen in two seconds] "i'm gonna lose my job"
[of a conversation] "it's not for now"
[of anything she didn't cook herself] "this tastes like underwear"
[to my father] "you're a vegitarian?" [he's been a vegitarian since age 19]