assorted quotes from the evening (in slightly impaired chronological order)

"i'm nobody's party slut but my own" —me

"woah, will's wearing jeans" —me

"hi, tracy" —leigh hartman
"hi, leigh hartman" —me

(whispered) "do you wanna take a walk?" —godwin
(yelled) "yeah" —martha

"didn't you go to p.s. 6?" —random guy who went to my elementary school #1
"yeah, who are you?" —me

"yo....don’t step to me bra....you know i only smackedya cuz'm twisted" -john (casting 37 needles to the ground, breaking will's leg, spitting on sofia, and grabbing my ass all in one should-be-slow-motion crash to the carpet)

"can i get one of your shoes?" —guy who looked kinda like keir and stole my cigarettes
(giggled) "um, yeah" —sofia
"can i sew stuff on it? "—guy who looked kinda like keir and sniffed sofia's shoes way to forcefully
"might i embroider them for you?" —will

"hey, can you teach me how to sew so i can make something for sofia?" —guy-who-looked kinda-like-keir's friend

"you sure you don't wanna stay in here with me for a while?" —guy who looked kinda like keir and hit on sofia first
"maybe later..." —me

"didn't you go to p.s. 6?" —random guy who went to my elementary school #2
"yeah, who are you?" —me

"yo, man, lemme pass this" (inhale) "down to this girl right here" (exhale) —peter
...
(stifled cough) —me

"you're really sexy, you know that?" —23-year-old, unbuttoned-shirt-guy who was looking for coke before
"thanks" —me
"i really like your stockings" —23-year-old, unbuttoned-shirt-guy
"thanks" —me
"they'd look better in a pile on my floor" —23-year-old, unbuttoned-shirt-guy who had come in with lottie

"23rd and 6th" —sofia
"ohhhh right!" —me
...
"does your mouth feel dry?" —me

what the fuck did i think i was gonna do, marry him?

all efforts now in an attempt to get over my departed love....except that he's not dead. just off to college. in a way i think that's worse really, just a twisting of the knife kinda thing that he's still around and yet not with me? (maybe i could kill him?....hmmm). conspiracies aside, i am well aware of how pitiful it is to be writing about one of the four people who reads this blog. but it's just so much easier to be bitter and pissed off and all that online. because that's what i am....i'm bitter that he left and it's over and while he gets to start on his merry-fucking college way, i'm left with old memories and reminders of how i he made me happier than i ever was....(wow, considering how emo this entry is i may have to switch to live journal)....i'm sick of the ambiguity of it all, that's why death seems like the only source of closure i can think of.....(his not mine, sillies)....i hate it all the more because i feel like i miss him more than he misses me, and i despise, most of all, those pictures of long-distance-relationship-bliss (with a wedding-bell soundtrack, perhaps?) that keep springing up in that damn girlie side of my mind....it's okay though, a significant amount of chocolate seems to rid me of such images.....so yay, i can blame him for becoming fat, too.

we're not in kansas anymore

she wakes up. gently batting her eyes, the color has been drawn from her face (and the bed and the carpet and the...). "i just had the most wonderful dream" she says, bewildered, (pointing to the other people in the room) "and you were there, and you were there and you were there...."

but unlike my southern friend, mine was not a dream. eeeeeee.